Well, yes, I did write all about the auction preview party and all the fun people, and I did take a few pictures. I promise I am going to get them downloaded onto this computer sometime in my lifetime. Maybe next week. I wish I had taken more, but in the excitement of the moment I just didn’t think about it. There was so much to see.
And yes it was typical Hollywood. There was posturing and posing, air kisses and cries of “Dah-ling! So good to see you!” from people hoping someone important would notice them. And the bad face-lifts! Oh, my gosh!! I can’t imagine letting anyone get near my face with a knife, but if I were going to, it wouldn’t be with a doctor who offered Groupons! Geez, people, what were you thinking? Were you thinking?
- Phyllis Diller at 92 with her “Dustbiters”
Phyllis Diller had blazed that trail, as she did so many others. I was working for her when she decided to have that first facelift and I remember her publicist, Frank, nearly having a stroke. She mentioned it to him in a rather off-handed manner during the filming of a milk commercial at her house. (Remember those? They featured various celebrities with a white milk-mustache assuring everyone “You never outgrow your need for milk!”)
As with the Lipton soup commercial that was filmed in a studio, this seemed very over-the-top for a 30 second commercial. As I made my way from the kitchen to deliver the glass of ice water Phyllis had asked for, I was stepping over cables and skirting equipment and trying to stay out of everybody’s way. I thought, “There must be more people crammed into this house than were at the Gettysburg Address!” There were dozens of people all with their own piece of the action. Script girls and prop girls, “grips” who moved the equipment, cameramen and light men and sound men and directors, producers, representatives of the Milk Board, Phyllis’s agent, manager, publicist (that would be Frank), and several people who seemed to be there just because. And — probably most important — the make-up man. Oh, yeah.
This man had done Phyllis’s make-up for some TV show and she declared he was a wizard! After that she insisted that he do her makeup for anything that was to be filmed or taped. He truly was an artist. So much so that when the milk commercial aired two months later, people commented on how well Phyllis looked since having the face lift. She had actually made the commercial two weeks before going under the knife.
So, yeah, there I was at the auction looking at people who should have known better! Plastic surgery surely is one of those areas where less is more. Phyllis didn’t stop with just one — she had many more surgeries and none of them turned out bad. When I look at this picture of Phyllis at 92, I think, “Heck, she looked better than I did!”
She could’ve been the poster child for plastic surgery. And I guess, in a way, she was.
Shameless Plug: If you want to know more about my adventures with Phyllis, check out my book: “Beyond the Spotlight: On the Road with Phyllis Diller.” It’s available all over the place, including Amazon, at http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Spotlight-Road-Phyllis-Diller/dp/0985972882
Phyllis Diller and wine 